Today I would like to focus on two things. The first is a recurring topic of discussion amongst my friends and me, and the second is my general young people "lingo." The latter is like the vernacular of the youth. It's spec-nacular. It's youth-tacular. It's the vernac-youth-lar.
As a job seems, at the moment, just within reach (or just out of, depending on your point of view), our time spent shooting the breeze and "hangin" has often veered toward the what ifs of working as an engineer and actually having "dough." A frequent subject has been the possibility of living with my two other engineer friends here in the Dallas "hood," Scott and Kevin. While Kevin and I want to continue living with our parents for a bit in order to keep that "cheddar," I think the 3 of us really enjoy entertaining the idea of living in the same "'jects." Not only is it more economical than flying solo, but the idea of us "kicking it" in the same "crib" also evokes images of Animal House (without the frat guys or the girls, as I'll never be fraternity, and we're generally incapable of attracting girls). It would be like Batman and Robin and that other guy. Starsky and Hutch and whatshischops. Lucy and Ethel and Ricky. It would be three young bachelors with bachelor's, just "rollin." The only thing I think could top it is if we became Doctor Master Bachelor, but I think that could be achieved with a fourth roommate whose street name could be shortened to Sire DMB.
Moving along from simply rooming together, we've also decided it could be fun to adopt a child. First of all, this appears to be a good strategy for humanitarian purposes, as we could give a child from an unfortunate background a new beginning. "Get out tha hood, drop the 'jects, start doin some good and start buildin' some recs," ya know? Secondly, we would benefit as "baby daddies" because we could find a kid about 8 years old and skip past the difficulties of diapers, learning to walk, etc. Furthermore, what could be "flyer" for a kid than having three dads? Many kids are unfortunately growing up with no father figure, but ours could have THREE. He would easily be the coolest kid in school, learn discipline, and also always have someone available. So maybe Dad's at work and little Sire DMB needs to talk to someone. It's cool, no worries - Daddies are home (Oh, it's also apparently a boy, and we have preemptively named him Sire DMB). As if that weren't enough, the three of us could easily guide a child toward a lifetime of success by using our own experiences, both successes and failures, to help him evaluate decisions. As the son of 3 engineers, nothing but success in the sciences and mathematics would be acceptable. Additionally, we would "ford the river" past the foolish pitfall of parents who think their children need the help of acclaimed coaches to have a chance at becoming professional athletes. This foolishness would be bypassed, with that "Bentley" being "taken to the chop shop" by not having our son try to develop the best jump shot, get stronger, or generally illustrate any innate talent. Rather, we would have him develop a "sick" knuckleball from about age 10. After all, being a knuckleball pitcher in major league baseball could be one of the best ways imaginable to get rich. This would afford the opportunity to teach our son that a bit of hard work will lead to success, even if one isn't physically gifted. Then, when Sire DMB does earn a spot on an MLB team, he would see that earning a living with millions of dollars means working once every five days, and even then he doesn't have to throw his hardest.
As far as I can see, the Triumvirate of the Fatherhood has zero chance of failure and a likelihood of success surpassing the 75% mark. Little Sire would not only have Sire Daddy, Daddy Dude, and Paternal Homie for his caretaking, but he would also be exposed to the jovial, if not fatherly, personalities of "Fun"-cle Flu and Sister Cbass, the latter of whom will be donning a family moniker betraying his true gender for no particular reason. With such manly mannishness, malehood, and masculinity surrounding the young lad, I see no way that he would not grow up to be the most successful culmination of manhood seen to date. Sire DMB, the Man's Man - fluent in American English, manliness, and the vernac-youth-lar. My only uncertainty regarding the entire process is the teaching of the latter, because I must pose the question - is the word "vernacular" in the vernacular of our youth?
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
An Unupdate
To continue with this blog's recent divergence toward complaining and airing of grievances, topics today will be scattered across a spectrum of things that annoy me. If you have opinions to the contrary, I would like to hear them as long as they are expressed in a manner that is as far as possible from the usual "YouTube comment" level of intelligence.
As has been evident from my youth, and as is occasionally reaffirmed by my experiences, I feel it necessary to declare that doctors are, in large part, completely useless. This is not to say that all of them fit into this category, as there are some who are treating important diseases and actually using their knowledge to do things that those without the equivalent education would not know how to do. However, many times people go into the doctor's office already knowing what's wrong or have something so simple that it could be diagnosed instead by a nurse. At times I have gone to the doctor only to find that the doctor does not know what is wrong, and they do nothing more than prescribe general medications that I, or anybody with half a brain, could have deemed necessary. The only difference is that they have been given the power to write prescriptions and they are grossly overpaid. The unfortunate aspect is that people have to pay either the cost for the visit or their insurance deductible, which brings us to...
Insurance is a disgusting scam. I can't think of another line of business or industry that makes such a killing off of people either being forced to fund it or being scared into thinking that they need it. Then, when people do need it, insurance companies often find loopholes and other ways to weasel out of their obligations, meaning the helpless client has been forking over money for no reason at all. Unfortunately, however, this has become such standard fare that insurance is much more than an afterthought when people make investments in commercial goods.
Recently, my father had some car troubles and had his vehicle towed to the dealership from which he bought it. Since his purchase of the used car, he had paid a small monthly amount to cover any mechanical problems. Upon arrival at the dealership, he began discussing the policy with one of the workers, who informed him that coverage stopped after 100,000 miles. The car being near 130,000 miles, it was no longer eligible and the repair at a dealership was, of course, going to cost an arm and a leg. However, the written and signed policy made no mention of the mileage limit, and this was apparently discussed when my father agreed to purchase the insurance. The problem is that the amounts are not significant enough to merit any sort of legal action.
On a mildly related note, and I must remark that my friend Anthony and I discussed this about a week ago, I have happily found irritation with the evolution of technology in certain fields. In new cars, for example, everything seems to be headed toward automatic, electrically operated, or computer-controlled devices. At first, this seems like an excellent idea, as we're using the latest technology or finding convenience in things we never considered before. However, the problem is that when these things break or stop working, the average user is not only incapable of solving the problem but often finds that the repair will be unnecessarily expensive. Thus, I sometimes feel like people fail to use common sense when buying brand new cars with all sorts of computer systems running every unnecessary gadget you can imagine. After all, haven't most of us noticed significant problems with our computers, cell phones, or some other electronic after only a few years of use? In my opinion, most people are counting on keeping their new cars for more than just a few years and would benefit from sticking to the old, tried-and-true aspects of some more classic vehicles, rather than falling for everything automatic. As Anthony pointed out, can you remember the last time the manual window control in your car stopped functioning?
As has been evident from my youth, and as is occasionally reaffirmed by my experiences, I feel it necessary to declare that doctors are, in large part, completely useless. This is not to say that all of them fit into this category, as there are some who are treating important diseases and actually using their knowledge to do things that those without the equivalent education would not know how to do. However, many times people go into the doctor's office already knowing what's wrong or have something so simple that it could be diagnosed instead by a nurse. At times I have gone to the doctor only to find that the doctor does not know what is wrong, and they do nothing more than prescribe general medications that I, or anybody with half a brain, could have deemed necessary. The only difference is that they have been given the power to write prescriptions and they are grossly overpaid. The unfortunate aspect is that people have to pay either the cost for the visit or their insurance deductible, which brings us to...
Insurance is a disgusting scam. I can't think of another line of business or industry that makes such a killing off of people either being forced to fund it or being scared into thinking that they need it. Then, when people do need it, insurance companies often find loopholes and other ways to weasel out of their obligations, meaning the helpless client has been forking over money for no reason at all. Unfortunately, however, this has become such standard fare that insurance is much more than an afterthought when people make investments in commercial goods.
Recently, my father had some car troubles and had his vehicle towed to the dealership from which he bought it. Since his purchase of the used car, he had paid a small monthly amount to cover any mechanical problems. Upon arrival at the dealership, he began discussing the policy with one of the workers, who informed him that coverage stopped after 100,000 miles. The car being near 130,000 miles, it was no longer eligible and the repair at a dealership was, of course, going to cost an arm and a leg. However, the written and signed policy made no mention of the mileage limit, and this was apparently discussed when my father agreed to purchase the insurance. The problem is that the amounts are not significant enough to merit any sort of legal action.
On a mildly related note, and I must remark that my friend Anthony and I discussed this about a week ago, I have happily found irritation with the evolution of technology in certain fields. In new cars, for example, everything seems to be headed toward automatic, electrically operated, or computer-controlled devices. At first, this seems like an excellent idea, as we're using the latest technology or finding convenience in things we never considered before. However, the problem is that when these things break or stop working, the average user is not only incapable of solving the problem but often finds that the repair will be unnecessarily expensive. Thus, I sometimes feel like people fail to use common sense when buying brand new cars with all sorts of computer systems running every unnecessary gadget you can imagine. After all, haven't most of us noticed significant problems with our computers, cell phones, or some other electronic after only a few years of use? In my opinion, most people are counting on keeping their new cars for more than just a few years and would benefit from sticking to the old, tried-and-true aspects of some more classic vehicles, rather than falling for everything automatic. As Anthony pointed out, can you remember the last time the manual window control in your car stopped functioning?
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